Saturday, May 2, 2009

We all try to make a dent, we're just flesh and bone.

It can't be normal to love paint it black as much as I do. That may be the only good thing Josh ever did for me. But fuck him.

I can't believe how much my parents fight. I'm afraid one of them is going to stab the other one at some point. Two people can't live together this long and just fight and fight and fight without there being some awful violent boiling point. I worry about them constantly, and as much as I hate my dad, I wish he weren't so hateful and angry all of the time. I'm angry all of the time, but I'm not totally self absorbed and ONLY care about myself. I don't get it. I am so sad in this situation, I don't even know what to do anymore. I wish I was as delusional as I was when I was a kid and thought things were normal, and fighting was just what all people did.

That shit's not right.

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