I need to start watching Grey's Anatomy again.

I hate living here. Everyday I wake up I feel like this apartment is stealing more of my life away from me. My mom is driving me to the point of fucking INSANITY. I seriously mean it. I can't have a single fucking thought to myself. I just want to be able to relax. I can't even fucking take a nap without her calling me every two goddamn fucking minutes. I'm so angry all of the time, I feel like my head is going to explode. Every second that goes by in this room I feel like crying or breaking windows. Teenagers are supposed to be going through this shit, not someone on the verge of fucking 24 years old. Fuck. I can't control this at all, every morning I just want to leave and not come back and I feel like I'm going to strangle her. I am so upset. And the worst part about all of this is this is all of my fault. If I had been responsible, if I had done what I needed to get done, fuck I could have been out of here ages ago. I always mess up. I ALWAYS mess everything up. I hate feeling sorry for myself. But I just need to cry and feel better and start all over again, because right now I feel like the biggest failure. And nothing rubs failure in better than my mother.