I am so upset right now. If i weren't so fucking tired I'd be crying. I have gone out of my way, to be a good friend, to make time for people, to keep hanging out to fucking DO THINGS, and the only two people who seem to give a fuck are abbie, lookman and zanida. Everyone else has fallen off the face of the earth. I haven't had a boyfriend in 5 years. That's 5 years of being totally alone, depressed, thinking about being alone forever, and having absolutely no appeal to the opposite sex. I do NOT see Richard everyday. I do NOT spend every waking fucking moment of my life with him, don't turn this shit around on me, and make it seem like since I have been a loner for so long that I am in desperate need of attention from my boyfriend and I 'have to be with him every goddamn second'. I fucking missed you, I tried to hang out, I made plans and you bailed and never rescheduled. I work fulltime, you work fulltime, it never stopped you from being one of my best friends before. I feel so fucking alienated, I feel like shit, and now I AM crying. Fuck this shit. Ugh.