I want to go to Barbados so bad. I miss my brother a LOT. I worry about him a lot, I miss my niece and nephew, I miss my sister, I miss the beach and the food and the sun and the fact that the rain smells clean. I miss the obnoxious people and the music and the sand and my sister's neighbors. I miss everything. I don't feel like I belong in New York. I have always wondered why I am so miserable here. And now I know why. I don't really want to live here anymore. I feel like I don't belong. I can't take this rain, and the asshole people and the attitudes, and the pollution, and overall bullshit. I want the west coast. I want warm weather year round, I want to move far away from here.

I need a vacation. lately all I've been thinking about is how badly I want to quit my job and it's all I can think about. Ever. I'm not happy. I need a change, I need to get out of Burlington and take a break. And I am so

stuck there. I just want to take Richard and leave.