No laughter no loving no contact

Sorry this shit is turning just about as emo as my fucking livejournal. I've been so down in the dumps lately. I think I am at the age where I should not care about friends anymore, according to my mom...but it really sucks when you hate your job, and you hate being at home, and you have to come home directly after your shitty job because you have nobody to hang out with. And nobody wants to hang out. I don't know how many times I can gripe about this before it sinks in that they just don't care about me the way I care about them. I can't seem to let it go. I miss them. I miss them coming over and eating dinner and watching movies and talking shit and shopping and talking about life and how scared we are of everything. I have nobody to talk about those things with anymore, I'm tired of crying over lost friendships, and as much as I want to talk about this with them, they obviously don't care, because if they did, they'd be making as much of an effort as I do to t ry and hang out. I feel just as alone as I did last yea rand the year before that. I feel like my heart is breaking all over again, all I want is for Louise to come back home so I don't feel like I'm totally deserted.