I am so awkward with boys. Fuck. Hung out with Richard again today, I almost declined because of the fucking blizzard we got smacked with. IN which I decided to trek through with Converses on. Brilliance! It was awesome though, I fucking love snow sometimes. The first snowfall is ALWAYS THE BEST. After that it sucks ass. Also a snow plow skidded down my hill and knocked over our stop sign. I could not stop loling. Pics later.
I just wish I knew what he was thinking because whenever I don't want to hang out or like I say we can reschedule he is persistent in keeping plans. And there is ALWAYS that awkward tension because I am dying to just say something or make a move and I wonder if he is and I just can't come out and ask or say anything. I am so tired of these issues. I don't want to have to like people. I don't want to get rejected, and my fear of that freezes me in my tracks. I have NO patience when it comes to matters of the heart. I just don't. I never will. And that makes the wait even worse. Everyone keeps telling me it's obvious I should do something, but they haven't been where I've been a million times before. Whenever I think I'm in, I'm not. Whenever I think someone likes me, they don't. They just see me as a friend. I am always ALWAYS in the friendzone. That's just something I'll never get.
I hope this time is different. Please let it be different.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment